I recently watched two videos wherein people react to certain things or events. One of the video is teens reacting on songs by Twenty One Pilots, and the other is about people of different age group reading and trying to explain the lyrics of a song by Blink 182 titled “What’s my age again”? One song of Twenty One Pilots that was on the first video is titled “Stressed out”.
People who are familiar with those songs know the topic I want to talk about. Age. Blink 182’s song is about acting your age (the guy in the song is 23 years old and he’s “childish” the way the song talks about him), while the Pilots’ song is about being stressed out (obviously) of the adult responsibilities and what not and wanting to turn back time.
Two years ago last month, I decided to change the direction of my life and live independently. I moved out of my country and moved in the US. I consider this the best choice I ever made and also the hardest one.
I have to pay all my bills on my own, rent, phone, food, and whatever else I need to pay for, but at the same time I get to decide what I want to do with my life. Now, I am working part-time and also going to college with complete units.
Sometimes I feel the stress, a lot of times I get tired, and of course every now and then I feel accomplished and satisfied. Most of the times I feel a mixture of these. It is hard to live independently when you’re just starting out, can’t get any job other than an entry-level job, and at the same time being a student with nobody helping you out. But did I ever feel like giving up? This may sound like I’m bragging, but NO, I never felt it. Sure sometimes I felt that I need to rest, but that’s perfectly normal. Giving up? No. I came here to win. I came here to conquer the oceans. The mountains. To take back my life. To go against the flow. To not follow people. To choose my own path. I grew up. and I’m still growing.
Yes, I did and I don’t want to turn back time. I enjoy it. I enjoy that I take the responsibilities, the consequences of my actions, and the reward of my hard work. I enjoy growing up. I enjoy being an adult.
I keep on hearing people my age (or older, or younger) saying they wish they didn’t grow up. For me, it’s one of the best things that happened in my life. I gained the ability to choose for myself, to help myself, to improve, and, in the process, to know myself better.
This self-realization is one of the best experience I ever felt and I can’t wait to feel it some more.